Creative Homemaker

As if I didn't have enough on my plate...(that must be the understatement of the year)I'm jumping in. I was just going to sit back and watch the clues unfold. But I've gotten sucked in! I'm doing this. I love Bonnie Hunter's quilts. They are everything that appeals to me, colorful, scrappy, frugal with lots of great details. I love her motto about "ugly" fabrics, "If it's still ugly, you just didn't cut it small enough!" Once the first clue came out I knew I had to play along. I love green and pink together. It is all over my house in different shades and combinations. My poor husband has to sleep in a froo-froo bedroom. Which he does willingly to keep my happy. (The first time I saw him, he was wearing a pink Izod button down shirt.) [swoon!] Yet, I digress. So, I'll post my progress here. I'll put up a picture as soon as step one is completed. Ok, I'm excited now! Eating is overrated, isn't it? "It's Campbell...

I'm so far behind! I just finished the last month of this beautiful BOM. I was making three sets of them however so it took me a while with each step. I'm making the light colorway for me and an "army" colorway for my husband and a "marine" colorway for a dear friend of the family. This weekend I have sequestered myself in my sewing room and worked on UFO's. It has felt very good to get lots of little nagging things done. Here's my Thimbleberries so far...

Hi everyone, I thought I would share my latest finish. I've completed the second in a 3-part series of quilts for my three boys. They all share a room that is decorated in red, white, blue, Americana prints with a healthy dose of bears, trains and boats thrown in. I made their curtains and some crib accessories when they were younger and I've saved every scrap. (Thank you, Bonnie Hunter of Quiltville!) My first quilt was for my youngest, this one is for the middle boy and there is one more in the works for my 8 yr old son, the oldest of the littles. Robbie, my middle boy, loves Thomas the Tank Engine so his quilt is mostly blues with sunny Sodor Railway yellows thrown in. Robbie looked at it and found the letter "J" in the middle. (His middle initial.) I may have to add some alphabet blocks to the back. I love making wonky log cabins and using up every crumb in these quilts. This one is just a flimsy right now. I have about 20 extra blocks that will go...

We're here! We're buried under the pile of science projects, math books and addition flash cards. My "turn in" box threatens to overflow. One mother has a hard time keeping up with 5 subjects from four children. I'm sure enjoying my time at home with them. We have corrected, or at least attempting to keep on top of the corrections, in Robby's handwriting. He's 2nd grade and has been making lots of his letters backwards; s, d, g, p, and 7, 3, 2, and 5. I think I have at least figured out the why. He's a very precise and exacting child. He likes things straight and true. He even thinks that his food stays sorted out in his tummy. So when he writes, his paper is NOT turned at a slant and he crooks his arm around the top of the letter and writes top down, instead of angling his hand with his paper and writing left to right in a natural arc. I usually sit right with him when he writes and re-tilt his paper so he stays correct. He is making far fewer errors ...

I've begun. I've jumped in with both feet first into the swirling mass of books, pencils and kids. I'm desperately trying to keep my nose above water. Teaching 4 children with 4 different grades isn't turning out as easy as I had hoped. The girls usually finish their assignments and have to wait for me to assign the next item. I'm constantly interrupted while teaching new concepts to the boys either by Boo trying my patience, or one of the girls wondering what they can do next. I know there must be an easier way. I've had friends who have home schooled 10 children at a time, each one in a different grade level. I'm not Super Woman. I've got to get more organized so that I'm not constantly feeling like I'm just at the surface of the water ready to go under at any moment. On a positive note, I'm loving having my children around me and being able to tell them and teach them things during each moment throughout the day. Those moments when I catch...

Ok. I'm homeschooling. If I were born in a different time, I'd love to be Lucille Ball, June Cleaver, Ethel Merman or Vivien Leigh. I'm a country girl living in the city. But, oh, to be as cool as her. These are absolutley gorgeous! Take a peek. You might need a tissue.

I'm getting sort of excited. I have an inner need to organize and label things. I bought another shelf from WallyWorld and Ace and I put it together. Miss Busy and I moved the scrap booking cupboard over and scooted things to make the new bookshelf fit. I pulled out my Dymo and made everyone a space on the new shelf. If I'm organized, I think I am more likely to maintain a schedule and we won't fritter away our school year. I'd love to just "play" all year and pretend that the kids are learning life skills, but for me, we need to maintain just as much of a schedule as if we were going to school. I have decided we will have school in the diningroom, so that if there are still dirty dishes on the kitchen counter there will be nothing preventing school from starting. Then once things are going a bit then I can get back to the dishes while the kids are working. I'm counting on Chels and Miss Busy to help me with the younger boys, reading, and assisting them wi...

I'm taking a big step. I'm venturing into unknown and for me, uncharted territory. I'm joining the ranks of homeschooling moms. Crazy, I know. Twenty years ago, when my husband decide to join the military I wasn't really exited about those changes in my life. But I've gotten use to the idea. And we do this life pretty well. We have adjusted and we have grown. Then 15 years ago, when my husband started talking about going to seminary, I was scared. I didn't think I could live up to the demands of a pastor's wife. I didn't think my, then only one child could behave the way a pastor's child should. But we've made it through that hurdle too. Then when my husband started talking about becoming a Chaplain. I REALLY didn't like that idea. I had known a chaplain's wife who (to me, on the outside) seemed too perfect. She had perky hair, she taught Bible studies, she had perfect children. That wasn't me. I couldn't possibly man...

Just finished another UFO. This one really was the oldest one I had. I thought that the pinwheel quilt was older, but after reviewing dates, I discovered that this one was started in 1991, this was my second quilt. The first was a needle turn applique, (what was I thinking?) quilt in a queen size to fit on my bed. My tumbler quilt was laid out on my mother's family room floor while my husband was in basic training back in 1991. I lived with my parents while he was away. I cut out the shapes with a template and scissors and sewed one row at a time and laid it back down on the floor. There are so much faster methods now! I wanted a gradient style quilt that sort of faded from pinks, to blues and then greens. I don't know if I had enough pieces to really accomplish this, but in my early unskilled years as a quilter, I don't think I did too badly. I decided to quit a little paisley in each dark tumbler and stitched 1/4 away from the seam on the light colored squares. If I had...

My newest grand niece was born last month. I've been working on this little baby quilt for a while and it was done the day she arrived, but her Mommy and Daddy didn't know what to call her. Once they decided her name, I was on to another project, and had a hard time getting it out again to make the label. But now it's done, label embroidered, and stitched on. I hope she likes it. It's made completely from vintage sheets and one dust ruffle, (the chocolate brown stripe.) I quilted it in a "waterfall" design, from top to bottom. And no, this one wasn't in my UFO list. Some things just take precedence.

One of the benefits to volunteering at the food bank here in my little home town is the thrift store right next door. I usually only get to run in with a donation while my kids wait in the car, or quickly scan the kitchen section for canning jars, but on Thursdays when I have a break in my food bank work, and while I have a babysitter at home, I enjoy a leisurely browse through the fabric and bedding bins, looking for scraps of 100% cotton fabrics or vintage sheets. I also scan the men's and women's button up shirt racks for treasures. I used to say that if a scrap of fabric ever made it into my house, it wouldn't emerge unless it had been made into something useful, a quilt, apron, potholder, rag rug, etc. Now the same goes for men's shirts. I may even start scanning my husband's closets for pretty patterns. I'm in the process of making two more scrappy log cabin quilts for my other two boys who share a bedroom. Their quilts will be red, blues, creams, yellows...

In honor of today being Military Spouse appreciation day, I'm writing to tell you how I came to be a military spouse. Nearly 20 years ago, my husband, myself and our son were living in a little duplex near Camel's Back Park in Boise. Jut down the street from the trendy, hip neighborhood of Hyde Park. We hobnobbed with bicycle touring, and kayaking college students. I worked at a family owned sporting goods store running their embroidery machine in the sweatshop basement. I created beautiful cheer leading outfits, band uniforms and Letterman jackets. Bear was a college student finishing up his teaching degree and had gotten frustrated with the liberalness of the department and had left the university. After much prayer and research, we decided that it would be a good life with many benefits to join the armed forces in some manner. His first choice was the Air Force, be Bear is slightly colorblind and didn't make their cut off criteria. He was a music major in college, so he ...

A dear friend of the family asked me to handquilt a quilt for her too many years ago to count. I can't remember who did the piecing, some relative of hers. I've had it on my GraceFrame hand quilting frame for a long time. I have had 5 more children since then, moved five times and carefully packed it along each time. I was determined to start finishing things while Bear is gone on this deployment. This was the UFO that gave me the most grief and added stress to my life. The guilt associated with having this quilt for so long stifled my creativity and nagged at the back of my procrastinating brain. It's done!! I pulled it off the frame a few weeks ago and finished hand sewing the binding on yesterday. I washed and dried it, and took a picture for my archives. I will attach a label before I send it off to my friend, if she still counts me as one. Even though a twin size quilt only weighs a few pounds, I feel like a TON has been lifted off my shoulders!

Today, my Chels got her tonsils taken out. She did a great job and I am so proud of her. They schedule the surgeries youngest first, taking the babies first and then the patients get increasingly older. She was a little bit scared at first, but she had her iPod shuffle and "zoned" out while we were waiting for her turn. The surgery center where she had the proceedure done was very efficient, I spoke with both the doctor and the anethesiologist during our 20 minute wait. The were quick, efficient, but also very patient in anwering any questions I had about the proceedure and recovery time. I was fairly impressed. They took her back and I waited in the waiting room for about 30 minutes. The Doc came back and told me she had done just fine and was groggily resting in the recovery room. While I was sitting in the waiting room, I had an enigmatic experience. I had been working on this project. Carefully sewing the little seams back together with...

Some people have an affinity for animal rescue. That's wonderful for them. There are many poor pets that need a loving home and someone to be their advocate. I appreciate the work and the services they provide. I, however, have a heart for unloved, abused quilts. At every yard sale I visit I keep a keen eye out for poor unloved fragments of fabric. Every once in a while I find a treasure worthy of rescue. Today was that sort of a day. I stopped just down the road, not thinking I would find anything, browsed a few tables, walked around a corner and saw this beauty. It was marked $22, which was a steal of a deal for the vintage fabric and hand sewing involved. I quickly and discreetly scanned the bills in my purse and was about to walk away, but the "yard sale manager" said she would consider all offers. I quickly said that I only had $13, would that be OK. She hemmed and hawed, then caved! YES!! This vintage Double Wedding Ring was poor, unloved and abused. It was once a l...

I finished sewing the binding on last night while I watched "Blind Side." I thought this would be an appropriate movie since I was doing the "Bind Side" of the quilt, haha! Great movie. Great actors. But no one to watch it with. I hate watching good movies without my Bear....but I digress. Back to Beary Wonky Cabins by the Lake. In keeping with the scrappy look of the quilt, I did a scrappy binding too and pulled all my reds and blues out of the binding drawer and pieced them all together. I love hand sewing a binding on a bed size quilt. I'll do a machine stitched one on wall hangings and table toppers, but I prefer the old fashioned way on a full-size quilt for some reason. A quilting friend of mine said that I was backwards in my opinion on this, that I should do it faster on a bigger quilt, and take my time on a quilt that didn't take so long to finish. I don't know. I guess I'm just weird like that. I'll be sending a picture of the finished ...

I've had this top unquilted for a while now. It's a crumb chaos block which you can find tutorials for here and here . Beware, if you try these, they are addicting. You just whip along mindlessly sewing, and streaming out the backside of your machine come these lovely wonky things. I love wonky these days, ever since I did my wonky houses for Jennifer . So, yesterday, I really wanted to stipple. Just to meander around the quilt and not really think about what I was doing. So, I sandwiched this top with batting and backing, and went to town, or rather went to the Lake. (I really did label the quilt with my name, but I don't post that sort of stuff on the web.) My boys have bunk beds, so this will be for one bunk and the other bunk may get its covering soon, I'm such a fan of wonky blocks, I have to do more. I still have to bind it, but couldn't wait to show you. So, what have you finished lately?

My new Elna Quilting Queen and my Elna 8200 Experience Embroidery machines are here!! I'm unpacking them now. Later I'll be sewing, and after that, more sewing, and after the sewing, I think I'll be...yep, sewing. I may come out from under in a few days!! Don't expect to see me until the newness wears off, maybe in say about 10 years!! (I will post pictures in a little while as soon as they are all unpacked and pretty.)

Alright, it's not what you think! A honey bun is a sweet rolled up bundle of fabric strips! They are 1 & 1/2 inches wide and come in the most luscious colors! I'm entering the giveaway here. I'm also in an online quilting bee with this talented crafter! Seriously, she is a crafting maniac! Christy makes the coolest things out of "stuff" the sort of stuff that other people would throw away! She's my kind of frugal gal that way! So, hop on over, follow her instructions and you can have a chance at a honey bun too!

Hi dear readers. I think there may be two of you... I'm working on a new layout and a post to go with it. I'll be under construction for a bit, so please bear with me. It'll be good, I promise. See you soon...

According to the IRS, our income tax return will be deposited tomorrow. I am so thankful! With it, we are retiring some debt, paying off a personal loan and catching up on a few things that have been pushed to the back burner during Bear's most recent stretch of unemployment. First and foremost, we are paying off my truck. We currently owe more than it is worth, but we have determined that we will not be buying another vehicle for quite a long time, so we are making this one our primary concern. My suburban was repossessed last summer and we were literally crippled without it. When there are 7 in your immediate family, you can't really go anywhere in a two passenger pickup. Paying off the truck is first so that it will never get taken away from us again. While I do not fault the bank or the repo company, as they were just doing their job, it is certainly frustrating, and a bit scary to walk outside and wonder where is your vehicle. Second on our list, is to pay back a person...

Does grocery shopping just make you exhausted? By the time I get to the checkout, I'd like to tip the bagger extra to have her come home with me and unpack it all. Then off to Costco to see what good deals I could find there. I found one! This fabulous little camp stove and propane burner unit. It has a griddle or flip it over to have a grill, for pancakes or steak! And on the other side, a burner so that I can do all my pressure cooking outside and not ruin my ceramic stove top. I can't wait til it warms up so I can use it outside, for outdoor cooking. I thrifted some lovely vintage sheets the other day. We have a great thrift store in our little town. They sell pillowcases for 35 cents each. Each pillowcase yields two fat quarters and lots of strips for my fabric stash bins. Not much work on my UFO's lately. I just did a rush job for a customer, two purple dance costumes for an SRSIrishdance.com. I'd love to go see them, I love Irish dance. Now I'm relaxing to my...

Today was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, no clouds in the sky finally and warm enough to get outside and do some much needed yard work. There were leaves left over in the front flowerbed and needed to come out so they wouldn’t smother the emerging plants underneath. The grass in the front had matted leaves too. I pulled out the rake and scraped and scraped until it was all loose and free. Then I went into the garage to dig the mower out from under the piles of Nerf bats, balls, and Tonka trucks that had piled on its top during the winter months. While I was in the garage I grabbed the first pair of gloves I could reach. Blue knit jersey ones with rubber on the palms. They would provide enough coverage for my hands while I mowed. I checked the gas, added some oil and primed it six times. Pulled the rip cord and to my utter amazement, it started right up!! My front yard isn’t very big, it only takes about six passes with the mower and a quick turn around the flowerbed and it’s don...

On one of my quilting groups, when people receive a package in the mail they call it a squishy. It's squishy because it's full of soft pretty fabrics, or quilt blocks, or fun sewing gifts. I got one in the mail today! Ooh, I LOVE squishies!! I'm participating in a vintage sheet swap over here . Jennifer did a great job of hosting it. She said she had 545 fat quarters and 38 participants. WOW, what a job!! Thank you so much Jennifer for hosting this! It was so much fun. I can't wait to go through and fold and fondle each one!

I've updated my sidebar with all my UFO's. I'm determined to get a big chunk of these completed this year. I can really fritter away my time and after recently quitting my part time job, I've got to get organized if I'm going to really accomplish things. So, although they aren't in any particular order right now, (I may rearrange them by priority,) I'm chipping away at that list. First of all, let me introduce the Zeller Pinwheel. I've had this quilt too long. It's been on this frame for years. I told a friend of mine I would quilt it for her, it was pieced by a relative of hers and basted already. Then we moved, several times, she moved twice, and we've recently been back in touch. Now I'm determined to finish it this year. I've moved my quilting frame downstairs where I will see it daily and can spend time sitting and quilting on it. That is the only way I'll get it done. Just do it! I've counted the rows and columns, it is 9x...

I'm participating in an on-line quilting bee. You can see the posts here. Jennifer asked for cute little wonky house blocks. I made two. The first one was sort of a practice, it turned out ok. Not my favorite. The second one is better, I hope she likes them both. I'm sending both, but no pictures until she gets the package. Ooo, I love surprizes!! I'm off to do some more quilt blocks. Well, and laundry, always laundry.

For the past ten months, I juggled. Juggled dinners, homework, laundry and working part time at the local quilt shop in town. I am so done with working. I enjoyed it. I made some good friends. I learned a lot. Now let's get back to doing what I was meant to do. Dishes. Laundry. Helping with homework. Changing diapers. Mowing the lawn. Quilting, just for me. And I'm loving every minute of it!

Tomorrow, (or today, depending on when you read this) the 18th of February is a milestone in our family. One year ago, on that day, my brother accidentally shot himself and died. It was tragic, shocking, heartbreaking for his wife and children, and his extended family, his brothers, sisters and mother. Milestones are hard, they are reminders of the pain and loss that we thought had gone away. They are what they are and we have to deal. Every time something significant in the Old Testament happened, the protagonist would create a milestone, or a standing stone of the event. When Jacob dreamt about the ladder with the angels descending and ascending up on it, when he awoke, he set it up as a standing stone or a milestone. “'Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it'....then Jacob took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up for a pillar and poured oil on the top of it." Genesis 28:17-18. Dictionary.com defines a milestone this way: "a stone ...

We all have them. We usually hate them. They come at us mercilessly with no retreat. One thing on top of another, after another. Like my bad day, which was really more like four bad days rolled into one long Mount Everest like journey. Toilets overflow. Sink drains get backed up--in need of Drain-O and spills out of the trap. Then the floor of the cupboard is warped and wet. There's a hole in the bathroom door. Breakfast messes all over, burned finger with the curling iron, (my grey hair is showing,) trying to get out the door to go to church, no socks or shoes, where's the diaper bag, Finally in the truck, buckled up, where's the crock pot for church dinner, back to the driveway, return to the car, spills the coffee, stained white turtleneck, back in the driveway, takes a Tylenol, finally on the way, only 30 m inutes late. Just getting past the morning was a challenge , but now we are listening to praise music in the car. I'm feeling better, ready to face the day and ...

I decided a long time ago that this blog was mostly for me. I'm not out to impress anyone with sewing skills, canning abilities or Biblical knowledge. This is my journal, I've just invited you all along for the ride. So, this is what my journal entry is for today. Today sucks. Big time. It started out rotten and just got worse. I volunteer at the food bank; and this morning was our volunteer breakfast. I was told it started at 7:30, didn't start until 8 or maybe even 8:30. No set time, why even bother, no one else seems to have a schedule or a life. So, I arrive and no one else was there. Ok, there was this one guy, but he's mostly a creep and I don't get a long with him. I talked, dug through my small talk repertoire and got more irritated as the morning went on. So finally everyone else arrived, we ate, and I scooted out before the "I appreciate you, but this is my program and I'll tell you how wonderful I am." speech. By the time I got home, the hou...

are the most wonderful things aren't they? Especially when they are from your sweetheart half a world away. It is so nice to be able to share and communicate just like he was at his office 20 minutes away instead of thousands of miles. God has blessed us with this communication. It hasn't always been this way. In past deployments there was often no communication for days, even weeks. I am so thankful that we can talk almost daily. It allows me the opportunity to better pray for him when I know the daily struggles he faces. Daily communication should be a part of our spiritual life too. I've been neglecting my spiritual life lately for some reason. Maybe it's that I think I don't have enough time, or I feel I've gotten too far away from God and can't bridge the gap. But yet, I know that I'm not the one who has to cross the chasm, He has done that already. Just like our earthly relationships, we need to cultivate and grow deeper in our spiritual relationsh...

Oooh, what fun! Jen at Rosey Little Things is hosting a vintage sheet swap. I joined late, but she still let me play! I've got my vintage sheet fat quarters cut, folded, rolled, tied and ready to go in the mail. I'm so excited to see what goodies I get back. I love swaps! It is such a nice way to share and get a different variety of stuff rather than the same old stuff you always pick up. Besides, vintage sheets are FRUGAL!! And I'm all about that!

Isn't that a nice way to start a post? Everyone should have a friend. I would have to say that she is my oldest friend. That is not to say that she is the oldest friend that I have, but she is the one whom I have known the longest. We probably met in our church's nursery. She is 9 months and one day older than me. We went through grade school, Jr high together and then I moved over into the next school district. Not too far, but far enough that we didn't hang out like we used to. I graduated high school, she graduated high school and then life got underway and I haven't seen her in years. She comforted me during my father's illness and death. She has shared with me joys and sadness through the years. It is so nice to be able to just pick up where we left off last. I never hear, "I called you last, it's your turn!" or "I'm not writing another letter until she returns one to me!" She's been there for me through the years, and she's...

Here's the score: 1. The battle is between Fat girl and Skinny girl. Fat girl is whiny, she doesn't want to get out of bed. Right now she has more influence over the physical body than Skinny girl. It's hard to overcome her influence when the bed is warm and the room is dark. 2. Gin Miller could kill me. She is a hard taskmaster to Fat girl. She's not as tough as Jillian and she's definitely more compassionate. But to keep up with her, Fat girl will have to move out. "Kill her, Ms. Miller!" Then skinny girl and I can keep up. 3. Hip Hop Reebok is not fun when you can hardly keep your balance enough to stay on the step. Good thing I'm not doing this at a gym where I might actually be seen! (gasp) The loud guffaws would certainly stifle my resolve. 4. The shopping list is all wrong. Starbucks apple fritters are not part of this workout, but Fat girl keeps forgetting that. Skinny girl needs to exercises her resolve and assertion and not let Fat girl bully...

This deployment is different than all the others. Well, for one, this time Bear is the Chaplain, and not the Chaplain assistant. This time he doesn't carry a weapon, which given the success rate of his firing range experience, that's not a bad thing. This time he is in a different role, and this time, so am I. I have mentioned before, I think, how I never wanted to be a Chaplain's wife, but through the examples of Godly women in my life and the Holy Spirit working on my heart over the past 16 years, He has changed me. But at the same time, God knows our needs, our strengths and our weaknesses. I have a friend, Laura , who has stepped into the role of Chaplain's wife so beautifully it constantly amazes me. She is loving, and a truly compassionate partner to her Chaplain/husband through some very difficult circumstances, and God has built a ministry to the spouses of her husband's soldiers through Laura. She has been a comfort to hurting wives and families in her husb...

I thought it would be easier to say goodbye this time. I had already held him in my arms one last time and kissed him goodbye. He's been TDY since Jan 2nd, so I really thought that this would be just an extension of that absence. Not so. We spoke on the phone today. He told me he was flying out to the sandbox in the next hour or so. We told each other "I love you!" and my voice cracked. I cried. I hope he didn't hear it in my voice. He thinks I'm strong. He knows I am capable of changing a tire or climbing up on the roof to check the shingles. He's seen me balance the calendars of 5 kids and be nursemaid, chef, and taxi driver. It's just that my best friend is no longer here. He's not in this state, he's not even in our country. That makes me sad. It made me cry to think that he was going so far away. I don't want him to think I can't do this. I can. I can if I remember Philippians 4:13 for Pete's sake! Because I am strong. "I can...

Well, after only a week, I have been up early 5 out of 7 days to do some sort of workout. I haven't completely fallen off the bandwagon and I'm feeling sore in places that I never knew could get sore. I have taken back one pair of shoes and I'm searching for another. I need a good supportive shoe in which I can do my aerobics workout. Even though I do it on the floor at home, I can't do it shoeless. So the last few days I've been doing Pilate's and targeted muscle toning. It feels good, but I'm not getting the caloric burn that I'd like to accomplish. I can't seem to stop putting calories in, however, and that is frustrating me. I'm trying to stay focused on the goal, and take baby steps. I have pretty much eliminated all the junk food in the house, but it is the quantity that I have a problem with now. There will always be an ongoing battle between fat-girl and skinny-girl inside me. I know I can do this, I've lost weight and felt good about...

So, apparently this is to be the characteristic that I am to work on this year. Jealousy. It has struck me again. I was telling a friend yesterday how I was feeling jealous because another friend's husband came home on R&R and I don't get to see Bear. Well, I just found out that spouses and girlfriends of Bear's contemporaries are flying to see them off. We can't go and now the ugly green monster has hit me again. Argh!! Why do I do this? I said goodbye already. Why does it bother me so when people get to do things that I can't? I must not let this get me down. This is not an attribute that God is proud of in me. I have a family to run and a household to take care of. Stop it! Stop it, right now, I say. In case you are reading this, Bear. I love you so much and wish that I could be there with you. I'll work on my heart and you stay steadfast. We'll be together in God's time.

I realize it is a little late for New Year's resolutions, but I wasn't in the right frame of mind then. I'm coming out of the fog now and I'm going to try and accomplish the following things this year. 1. Lose at least 30 pounds. If I can consistently lose about 2 pounds a week, I should be able to accomplish this goal in 15 weeks, or about 4 months. I've done it before and it takes consistent portion control and calorie counting. I haven't done very good with that lately. 2. Work out at least 4 times a week. That should be Step-aerobics, or a good hard walk, either around the block or on our 3-mile walking path. 3. Read through the entire Bible in a year. If I read at least 3 chapters a day and 5 chapters on Sunday, that will get me through in one year. I have some catch up to do as I haven't been reading for 2 weeks. But it will be easy to catch up. There are some other resolutions I'd like to work on, like finishing some UFO Quilting projects, budgeti...

I'm seeing jealousy rearing its ugly head. I don't like it and I'm trying to figure out how to get rid of it. On Bear's last deployment he had a different assignment, he was the Chaplain's assistant and this time he's the Chaplain. He's doing a much different job, one that doesn't really have a start or a stop time. This job involves presence--just being there for the guys, hanging out where they hang out, conversing, getting to know them, their families and their concerns. I know this and yet, I'm sort of feeling like he doesn't want to hang out with me. You see, we are both on facebook but he never seems to be on to chat with me. I know he's doing what he needs to, and I know in my head that this is his calling, yet in my heart I can't help feeling like he doesn't want to spend more time with me. Oh, I know the way he is--once he has his assignment he is very determined to do the best job that he can. He is very compartmentalized an...