Monday, June 4, 2012

Being satisfied

I find myself wishing a lot lately. 

Wishing I were thinner, wishing my foot didn't hurt, wishing it wouldn't rain so much, wishing the laundry was finished--and would stay that way. I wish that summer was here already, wishing the kids were better at doing their schoolwork.

The thing I most wish is that were moving. Not necessarily packing and driving to a new place, but that we knew the direction God has planned for us--that we were actually going places, heading in a new direction.

God isn't finished with us here yet and I think that is what irritates me.  I think in my own feeble mind that I have learned all I can here and it's time to move on.  I long to be settled. I long to be able to plant an apple tree and see it grow from a young sapling to a productive tree.  I long to plan and design a home that will be comfortable with my things in their places.

I'm ready, but God says wait.  God has said that for a while now and I get so impatient just waiting. 

In the movie "Fireproof" there is a John Waller song called "While I'm waiting" that really has made an impression on me. I think about it when I get impatient.  I think to myself, am I still worshipping the God who is in control? Am I serving those around me? Am I supporting my Chaplain/husband? Am I teaching and instructing those children/gifts that God has given me? Am I preparing them for what God has in store for us next?

So, while I am impatient to go, while I want to move on and I'm feeling so dissatisfied with where we are, I will wait. I will serve and I will worship and I will learn to be prepared for the next step. Whenever it may come and wherever it may lead.

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