Friday, May 13, 2011

We’ve all got “stuff”

As I write this I am painfully aware that I am not the only one who is dealing with issues. A dear friend of mine has had terrible issues with her disabled child and trying to get him a proper education. I have another friend who recently had an emergency C-section and came close to losing the baby, (and herself for that matter!)It frankly makes my paltry troubles seem, well, paltry.

But this is my blog, and I use it to express my feelings and a place to share. So, share I will. If you don’t want to read my whining, you can always use the little “x” in the upper right hand corner. K?

For those of you still here…(crickets chirping…)

We’ve been through a difficult period in our life. About 8 years now. Well, really since we moved to Washington. Situation after situation has caused deep hurt, family strain and financial burdens. We have been through most of it and come out the other side much stronger and “ahead of the game,” so to speak. The financial stuff is really starting to wear on me. Just when I think we are getting ahead, another thing happens, the truck needs a major repair, the washing machine starts squealing, or a bill comes that depletes the bank account.

Thus far, we have been able to stay afloat, well, at least to have our noses above water, (well, borrowed water…but I digress)--and things are starting to look up. Maybe. I’m always afraid if I say that that things will take a downward plummet and some major appliance will quit or an engine will blow out on the trucks.

Bear is now a reservist, the army doesn’t want him full time, so here we sit. That’s another story for another day!) He’s drawing unemployment, and getting some drill time. But getting in the system in order to get the pay coming in regularly is like pulling teeth, or having your appendix taken out with a butter knife.

We are at the lowest point now hopefully, and things should start to climb, but as I type this, the water is turned off and can’t be turned on until Wednesday; every hiccup in the power makes me think that the power company has finally pulled the plug and I fear my phone will be cut off next.

Bear has about 10 days of drill for which we still have not received pay. It will arrive sometime, I’m sure.

Interestingly enough, this is not what irks me about all of this. I consider the opportunity to evaluate my food storage and water storage a good test of my preparedness. (We don’t have nearly enough water storage for 8 people for one day, let alone a week.) We have been borrowing water from a neighbor with a hose for washing dishes and cooking. As far as bathing goes, well, let’s just say you may not want to visit until the water gets turned back on.

The thing that bothers me is this, why is it that so many people “play” the system?

What I mean is, why is it that others can finagle a way to “piggyback” on their spouse’s training and work out a vacay for themselves, oh, a trip to Cancun here, or a weekend in Chicago, or a 3-day trip to Hawaii? We can barely keep the utilities going!

Bear’s commander suggested that we do just that. There was an opportunity for him to take some training in Hawaii. It was a mandatory training and the next available one on the schedule was at the Army training base at Schofield Barracks. When I spoke to Bear’s commander, he said we should go together and have a little vacation. I was at first floored that he would suggest such a thing, then I explained that financially that would not be feasible.

I really shouldn’t generalize, I do have it good. I have a husband that loves me, strives hard each day to take care of us, and if he could, would give me the world. Just for some reason God has frugality and limited financial “abundance” in store for us right now.

I’m really, really NOT asking for assistance. I have accepted all I am going to accept in this situation. God will get us out of this, or give us the strength to withstand the difficulties. We are learning patience. We are learning frugality, and we are learning to be thankful for what we have.


Amy said...

I know exactly where you are coming from! seems every time you get your breathe something else comes up. I have learned to lean and rely on GOD. it is hard when all you want to do is cry or scream! go ahead scream at your situation and tell it how BIG our GOD is! you and your family our in my prayers!

Quilting: My Way said...

I can remember my own tough times, but I cn honestly say that I have moved on from there. (Of course, I am not that old yet, so there will be more testing!) I used to believe that all the bad things happened in threes, but now I see that it was just me projecting my family's way of thinking. I know that you are talking to God and probably even raging inside about all of this, but there is some higher purpose that you are being prepared to face. God loves you and will be beside you through it all. He answers prayers in his own way and own time.
My prayer for you is that you can hang on and look for the parts that are positive as you go through this time of testing.

Denise Stripes said...

Mary, you amaze me every day--not only by all that you are able to do, but by your quiet patience and your trust in the Lord. He will bless you; I'm sure of it, and when it happens, it will take your breath away. If I notice your wonderfulness, you can bet that He does! Love you, my friend.

qltmom9 said...

I think I understand. We've had two over-a-year-long each spells of dh being unemployed. I saw others, also unemployed, actually end up in BETTER financial positions due to parents helping, or using the system. We gardened and mended and pinched, then spent the next year or so catching up on dentists and doctoring. Dh has been working for 7 months now and we aren't caught up to functioning YET. His salary is half what he'd made before and there is no help...just our poor adult kids & mil needing OUR help.
But, we find His hand more obvious now. 2 of my kids were ASKED to be in soccer FREE! We went to a garage sale and found the shin splints, then a goalie net was in someone's trash! Cleats only IN THEIR SIZES were cheap at the mission store. Pretty cool. My 12yo and 9yo saw Him provide...priceless.
Praying His rich blessings on you, Lucy~
Need sheets? I have an overabundance I could send free.

Alycia said...

Hope things are getting better~ and that your head is above water. Hugs to you!!

Misty said...

I too know how you feel. My husband served in the USMC from 2001-2005.Since he has been home he has had difficulty finding a decent paying job to keep up with the bills.He has gone through several temp services in the last couple of years only to be placed fromone job onto another each lasting for only a week or two and then finally having no job at all.He is currently fighting to get any assistance to help wiith the bills this month. I'm on SSI due to my cerebral palsy and not being able to help by getting a job has me so depressed that I dont even want to get out of bed in the mornings but I drag myself up and get to helping with breasfast for our three children. As of now we are hoping that our utilities will not be shut off this month and we are a month behind on our house payment. Facing being homeless tends to put a strain on everything. My limited income barely pays for necessities each month. I have spent many of nights praying and hoping that something good will come our way, but so far nothing has. I question myself as a wife and mother why am I not good enough? How can I help get us out of this nightmare we are in? My kids deserve a better life than what they have, but I have no way of giving it to them. I hope god hears you and answers your prayers. God bless you and your family!


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