I feel like I am the rag hanging in the middle of the rope in a giant game of tug of war. (Great picture, huh?)
Back and forth, tugged here, yanked there, drug through the mud a little, squished by the teeming masses, ripped backwards only to start the whole process all over again.
In order to save what is left of my little brain power, I'm just copying my facebook post, I'm too tired and discouraged to do anything more than this.
"Due to a Department of the Army administrative glitch, Bear's packet did NOT make it before the board!! The next board meets June 23rd. We are slowly sinking...into despair, into debt, into the muck and mire of self pity. The DA is transitioning to a paperless board system, Bear's packet was there and complete, but for some reason did not get transmitted, (along with many other packets as well.) Big DA SNAFU!!
I am so jealous of everyone else who has gone through this process. Why did it seem so easy!? Why is it so hard for us?
Bear keeps saying that we will emerge on the other side of all of this smelling like smoke, but not burned. (Reference to Shadrack, Meshack and Abendigo, in the fiery furnace.) I'm not so sure. I'm trying to trust, but I am so very tired of the hanging and holding on. My grip is slipping.
Why are we forced to sit on the sidelines when everyone else in in the fight, working for the Lord, we sit, we watch, we wait. I'm growing lethargic and lazy, frustrated and frazzled, discouraged and disappointed.